On friends and friendship

In my 25 year old life, I met plenty of beautiful, fascinating and inspiring people. Because there is just a very small percentage of those who I call my friends, I began to wonder about what friendship really is. In the past twenty years I had several definitions for the term my self, as well as encountering those of others. After giving the subject some serious thought, I came to the conclusion that there are actually three things to consider.

Firstly, quality over quantity.Although lots of people consider others to be their friends, because they have spent much time together ("I've known him since we were kids"), I think that 'what' you share is of much bigger importance. There are I people I see only once or twice a year, who I consider to be very dear friends. Also I see certain people on a daily basis, though I do not have any friendship feelings for them.

Secondly, friendship should be about sharing. It is a two-way relationship, based on equality rather than worship, envy or any of such things. To me there should be no determined loyalty in friendship, but it should come naturally. Because you want to be with, or share your life with this person. This automatically implies that it should not take an effort to be friends with someone.

Finally, friendship should be about positivity instead of negativity. Although this may sound rather obvious, people seem to consider friendship to be sharing hard times together and being there for one another when times get rough. I am not saying you should not be there for a friend when the person is having a difficult time. Insterad of being a shoulder to cry on, try to inspire the person to be happy and enjoy life, for this is what we all are looking for in our lives.

After thinking my theory over, I actually think that there is no serious need for a word like friend or friendship. Coming up with terms like these, we undeliberately put loyalty into a relationship between two people. Would it not be much easier to connect with other 'new' people when are free of any need to give them a title? When we talk about friends, does this mean that all other people are not friends? Why do we always need to categorize the people we know (and not know)? Can we not just call everyone a person? Just spend time with people you like to spend time with and enjoy loving them and sharing the things you share.